I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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