got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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