i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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