Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
