I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
