sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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