this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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