Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
