That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
