You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
