It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
