i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize