so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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