I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
