going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just invented taco cereal.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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