i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
