we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
