His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
