Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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