They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
