a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Michael Bay diarrhea
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
