So drunk its hurt
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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