I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
