the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
