I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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