Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
