Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize