i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
