So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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