Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
