How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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