I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize