Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
