porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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