Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
