If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ambien. No doubt about it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
