he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
