Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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