i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
