yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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