I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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