i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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