If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
