we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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