ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
