dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
