Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
