i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
