i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
