When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
