why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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