I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My life is pants optional.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
