theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
