I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize