Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
