Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
