I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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