can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
