No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
