dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my shit smells like andre
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
