If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
