My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
