so that wasnt chicken after all
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
